Things Will Never Be the Same Again

It's like a crumpled paper that no matter how hard we try to bring it back to it's original look, it will never look the same again.


I saw Ralph Jhonel just now from afar, and man, he's as cute as ever. I really missed him big time. But I know that things aren't the same anymore between the two of us. It all started a while ago, two weeks to be exact. After the movie we were making, he suddenly transformed into a different person -- the one I can't seem to appreciate. I tried to SMS him but he just won't give a response. And by the way, I was trying to call him last night but he won't answer the call. I was totally hurt. I even cried. So I called Marnel and Jhep and asked them if they're interested to drink the night away.

It was 11PM when I met up with Jhep, Marnel came after a while. It took us an hour to finally get to drinking. Marnel and Jhep might noticed my silence, so they asked. I too realized that I wasn't talking the whole night. I was hurt, and I can't take that fact off my mind. And that might be the cause of my being quiet. I just can't accept the fact that Ralph Jhonel can take it getting me hurt this bad. I remember me saying to Frankie after the infamous attempted call to Ralph Jhonel, "How can Ralph Jhonel do this to me? I wasn't doing wrong to him to make him hate me so much." Tears falling from my eyes. Good thing that my "mga men" somehow know just how to make me feel better. We watched a pretty hilarious DVD called "Timba at Tabo", and I really had good laughs. We then watched "Megamol" after the other. I am not really a fan of Pinoy movies, but I found my self smiling for the first time that night. I wondered how would the night be if Ralph Jhonel was around. It could've been more than that. But at the back of my mind, I'm not sure we're going to act normal in the presence of each other. I'm afraid of it to happen to us, I really am. But I just can't do something to avoid that. It's hard to try when he himself won't try too. I don't want to force my self to him. I don't want to make it seem as if this friendship is falling -- though it's somehow a reality, and I really feel bad. The thing is, I don't want to make it obvious so that it won't be hard for the both of us to patch things up.

He texted me this morning, explaining on how he missed the infamous call I was trying to make last night -- as if I was asking for his explanation. He said that he was in bed and already asleep when I was calling. Yeah right! How can it be possible that his mobile was ringing at the first few attempts, then turned off after a while, then on again and he was sleeping? OK. Maybe I'm just being too paranoid. Maybe his mobile has a life of it's own.