Ate Shishi gave my twin, Frankie, a book of seemingly unending Sudoku puzzles. I guessed it was a Christmas present and Frankie was overjoyed. I don't know what is it in Sudoku puzzles that excites her so much. I mean, they're number puzzles for goodness' sake! What other things can be more boring than numbers?

I don't really play Sudoku, but there was that time in November when I answered one that's printed in the tabloid. I thought it was a piece of cake. I even finished it under 10 minutes, and to think it was the first I had. Until Ate Shishi gave the book to Frankie. I learned that there are such things like easy, medium, hard and very hard levels of the game. I thought that is so interesting so I tried to solve one.
Man, medium level was a torture! I just can't figure out the answer. It actually took me a good 45 minutes before I finally gave up. I ended up a loser.

What dragged on while I was trying to solve the puzzle was the familiar feelings I felt. I know I already felt those feelings before. The frustrations, the impatience, the mind blowing headaches, the relief. It hit me, Sudoku puzzle is like living life. You'll feel the excitement and the tension. And you'll sometimes make mistakes. You'll start with a scratch, you'll carefully choose what move to do. One mistake and everything is ruined. You'll try to figure out what went wrong. You'll learn. You'll try to do it right. And then you're the victor.

As I was trying to make some sense to these similarities, I realized how amazing it is that Sudoku is really like the real life. That sometimes we make some decisions just like that, never realizing we might have made the wrong move. And we can only be aware of our mistakes when we learn that the things around us were ruined. We'll try to go back to the start but the page isn't as clear as it was, before our thoughtlessness. Maybe Sudoku was invented to teach us to be wise. That we must do our things right and flawless from the start, so that we won't have to restart with those shameful marks of mistakes. Sudoku and real life may be similar in some ways, the only difference is that in Sudoku, you can consult the last few pages for cheats if you think you can't solve the puzzle. But in real life, there are no such things like cheats. You can never give up no matter how badly trapped you are in a dead end. The only option available is to keep going on.

I can't remember when was the last time I cried for a guy. It's been months since I decided to forget about searching for someone to love me, and I'm feeling so proud of myself that I'm doing well so far. It feels as if my heart was once through a solitary confinement in a dark room, hardly spacious and hard to breathe, then, all of a sudden there was a light and air and my heart was freed. I felt happy since, and haven't noticed I am eventually forgetting those things happened before I get to give my heart the freedom it needed.

No man, no cry. That's what I told myself the night I saw my twin crying in her bed. Apparently, she just had her heart broken. I felt for her of course, and I thought I'm so lucky that I'm not going to feel the same ever again since I've already decided to put the thought of having some romantic relationships to trash.

I know for a fact that time will come and I'm going to feel lonely. But I don't really give a damn about it. What's important is that I'm feeling happy and free right now. At least I'm having all my time for my self now since I started to free my heart from frustrations. My concerns now are focused on my own self and not on the thought of having a boyfriend which frustrates me big time.

Emo cries. I actually do that. I'd cry when it rains for I think it really is such a sad moment. I'd cry when I realize I'm being too mean to my self. I'd cry about everything. But I know that I'm not going to cry for a guy now. Only because I know that no man, no cry. Take it from me.

Ever heard of the quotation that goes like this: "One man's trash is another man's treasure".

Yes, I know that it's one of the biggest ironies of life. People can sometimes be so thoughtless enough to dump that one thing that other people actually wish they have.

"Medyo malabo yata ang mundo. Binabasura ng iba ang s'yang pinapangarap ko." That particular Parokya ni Edgar line kept playing in my mind since the day I saw that shoutout on Rein and Marvin's Friendster account. How can be she so ruthless?

I do not feel bad about it just because I feel for JC. I'ts also because I told Rein like a gazellion times to take charge of taking care of JC and asked her not to hurt his feelings. And the fact that she ignored my reminders is what makes me feel bad. It feels like as if I don't matter to her at all.

Maybe I won't let myself get so much involved in this issue anymore since I know I wouldn't have to. This is their own problem anyway. And besides, they make me feel like I'm not their friend anymore so why bother? JC ignoring me and even glared at me the last time we saw each other plus Rein giving me this ill feeling about our friendship, I mean, I'm not losing all my senses yet to fail to figure out what's going on. They're not the friends I once knew. That's what makes sense for now.

One man's trash is another man's treasure. Rein's trash is actually my treasure, but I do not plan on keeping that treasure anymore. I already learned to let go of the thought that one day I'm going to have the moment with JC. I do not wish for that anymore. I still love him but not as much as I did. This blog entry doesn't really have to have a point. I just really want to share how I feel funny that some famous quotations can actually be applied to the real life. How I wish I paid attention to my Figurative Speeches lessons in my Literature class in high school.