To Mr. Nolieto Sucgang

(This is a letter written on 29th of August, 2010, 6:27PM)


I apologize for what happened tonight. I didn't mean to be rude and all but, just in case you don't know, I easily get pissed when people has to say something negative about me and I don't even do anything to provoke them to do so. Yeah, maybe you don't know about that. Or do you even know anything about me at all? I think you don't. well, I guess I need to tell you some things about me.

I am one of your children, the one with a twin, and you call me Jeng. But people call me Tuesday, do you know? I turned 24 last June and I was kind of expecting you'd greet me but you didn't but that's okay. I am now in college, imagine that. You never asked what course I am taking, maybe you always want to but due to some circumstances, you always forget to. So if you are interested to know, I'm a second year, B. S. in Business Administration major in Management student and I go to a college in Malolos. Yes, that is the reason why I always leave the house in the morning and get back home at night. School is really exhausting for me, especially that I always participate in as much extra-curricular activities as possible. Do you know that I dance? It's my first love! And as a matter of fact, I made it to the official dance group of my college.I guess maybe you'd be glad to know that. And Keng, my twin, brought home his third medal for essay writing Friday night. Champion this time! I am really prod of my twin. I'm sure you are too.

Tonight, before you throw harsh and hurting words to me, we were watching tv and I thought it was nostalgic. I remember those times when we watched primetime practical jokes shows and we laughed together for they were pretty hilarious. I always tell that to Ralph Jhonel and he would always tell me how lucky I am to have my dad with me. Ralph Jhonel is the love of my life by the way. You already met him didn't you? He was the one who always asked you for permission to use our house for the movie we were filming, remember? Apparently, his dad had to go abroad when he was just a little boy and they never get reunited again.

Anyway, he felt somewhat jealous of us. I really think he did. And it made me realize how fortunate I really am that when you left to go abroad, you came back home to us.

Do you know I always tell my professors and classmates about you? That the best advice I have ever received was from you. And that up to this moment, I still live by those words you said that seem to stick in my mind and it would play over and over whenever I am in a deep thinking. You may not be powerful but you've become a hero to me without even intending to be. I know I'll bring that advice to the grave. And if ever I'm going to reincarnate my self, I hope to remember it still. And I promise, I will live by those word again.

Don't you think it's funny that I write all these to you and I'm not even sure if you're ever going to read what I am writing in here? If you're going to ask me, I think it's too ironic. I write all these stuff like we've never seen each other for ages when in fact, you're just in the next room sleeping soundly where I can go and tell you how much I miss you and that I'll keep on trying to make you proud of me. I love you. You'll see, someday you're going to be proud of me. Or at least change the way you see me. But I guess I have to leave it like this for now. Because maybe -- just maybe -- I will just start another fight. Just like what happened tonight which I am sorry about and made me write you this letter.

it's me,
Jeng