Will You Come Back In A Heartbeat?

Can you tell me how life is like without me?

I guess it's just the same. The same typical life you are used to live everyday. You still smile. You still sleep at night, and wake up in the morning and do a lot of things until it's time for bed again. I know you still listen to that song I can't stand to listen to anymore. The song that used to make me smile each time I hear. Do you know how I was so addicted to that song ever since you came into my life? That song my friends had had enough of hearing as I always play it on my mobile's MP3 player. But now, it's the last thing I'd listen to. So that I can make it easy for my self to finally forget you. It's what you want me to do, isn't it?

Life without me might be the easiest for you. Maybe even be the most peaceful you can ever live. I'm sure you've never even noticed I've left. Nor, at least, felt I was there in the last four months. You only see me as your life's biggest joke, and now it's time you take your life seriously so you turn you back just that.

Life without me might also be the happiest for you. You might even think of not knowing me at all. You ought to know you can start forgetting about me any time you wish to. Or maybe you wished it the first time we met. Why did you have to pretend I was part of your life? I mean, you could just told me to leave right then and there. But making me believe that I was part of your seemingly perfect life just made me feel frustrated.

I am frustrated for the should have, would have and could have's of this saga where you and I are the lead characters. But the story should end even before it starts. I sit here in the corner as the curtain rolls to close, hiding all these tears you don't even want to see.

I wonder what you do right now. Do my name ever cross your mind? I hope you know that my world stopped spinning the moment I told you we must forget about each other. That's the most shitty thing I've ever said in my life. But I know that's the most wonderful thing for you.

Your world continues to spin and I am praying I can catch up on it's revolution. So I can be there when you grow older. So I can be there to watch you on stage when you are already a rockstar. So I can be there to catch you when your world loses it's path to it's axis. So I can be there to say sorry for the things I've done.

Can you tell me how Raymark's life is like without me? Maybe it's your idea of heaven. But Tuesday's life without you is what's going to bring me to heaven. With all those precious memories of course. I'm going to meet you there someday, somehow. I wonder if you're going to recognize me. I wonder if I'm going to feel you when I touch your face. Are you going to give me a smile? A thing I never had from you. Am I going to remember the feeling I am feeling right now? Are you going to wipe my tears? Will I ever feel your warmth?

I know I'm going to miss you. I want to love you for the last remaining days of my life. Are you going to cry over these blood? Are you going to hug me before the warmth runs out of me? Can you wipe my tears before I close my eyes? Will you let me say your name for the last time?

Raymark. Before I breathe out my one last gasp of breath, can you tell me how your life will be like without me?