The Saga of My 103 Dilemmas Continues

People think that my twin, Frankie, is a goddess. And I am one of them. I got used of guys I'm interested with ending up confessing on liking Frankie and then courting her. It's been the scenario since the last 5 years. But I know I cannot blame my twin 'cause it's certainly not her fault. Not those guys' fault either.

I knew something's happening between her and JC even before she made the spiel. I don't know how but my instincts told me they were having something between them on the night of March 5. Or was it just because I've seen it coming? I knew they were starting to like each other and that is exactly why JC's paying visits every so often, which I'm having the impression that it's unusual of him to even bother. So I was a witness to how closer they got every single visits JC had. I can't help to feel jealous but God knows I'm happy for them. I know JC won't give a damn about me sowhat's the point of feeling jealousy anyway? If they could be happy together then I'm happy for them. I love JC, but I love Frankie too. Nothing can ever make me happy than seeing these most important people in my life happy. They can take all the smiles and I'll take the tears for them.

I missed loads of conversations with JC and Frankie lately inspite of JC's forever hanging around. JC even asks why I always have my mouth shut tighter than a clam's shell. But the truth is, I was always struggling for words. I always wanted to try to speak but what would I say? I finally had the chance to talk to him in his most recent visit but I am not positive about it. So we got the talk, but there came the point when I can't relate to Frankie and JC's conversation anymore. Ellaine... Rhein's plan... Studio and it's owner... I mean, I tried hard to make sense to those things but I failed to really comrehend. So I ended up taking drags on my Marlboro, hardly any sound made.

Maybe I should just leave them alone or I'd fail to relate to things again. After all, JC don't need me anymore -- as if he ever did. I strongly believe that JC and Frankie deserves to be happy. I will just try to forget this feelings I havefor JC. If it makes him happy, then it can't be that bad.