Hello, today I will talk about how fragile things can be. Once broken, will never be the same.

When we have something in our hands, we never appreciate it. We take it for granted. We never missed it because we always thought, there's more to come. We will always get it.

But the truth is, sometimes we'll never realize how important something is until it's gone. Gone with everything that's happened. You might be able to hug your friend today, she might be gone the next day. Without a trace. Because things come without notice, we never did have the chance to prepare ourselves so that we could cherish every moment together. No one will tell you when the special someone's going to die, or leave, or never come back. Why is it that people have to experience it to learn our life's most valuable lesson: appreciation!

The moment when the lesson is learned, we cannot get back to where we were, cannot cherish and experience the same feeling ever again. All we could do is to move on, look forward, and all those moments will remain as memories. We live to regret. Is this true? From regrets only we would be able to apply it to our future lives so that we could cherish any special moments with the special someone. Is this what life's lesson about?

Its so hard to understand what the nature want us to be, what we were made to be. Is the road already chosen or do we have a choice? When we reach a junction, is there a right and wrong turn to take? Nobody knows. Who knows if what you chose today is the right direction? We will never know. But all we can do is to go on with life and do what we can.

I'm here to bid farewell to this blog as it has no other profound meaning to it anymore. It was here to bring joy and laughter and to keep memories of good and bad times. However, sadly, there were more sad moments and silly mistakes rather than anything beautiful. Life was never fair to start with isn't it?

Thank you all for reading. I really have nothing to entertain you or share to you anymore.

Bye Tuesday's Doomsday. I'm moving to a new blog, visit me at http://goasktuesday.blogspot.com

May ikukumpisal ako. Tinukso ako at bumigay sa bulong ng makamundong pagnanasa. Nakalimot at naging mapang samantala sa pagkakataong inihain sa aking harapan. Ang pagkakataong 'di ko inasahang magkakaroon ng katuparan ngunit naganap na. Ako'y naging mapusok. Ako'y naging makasalanan. Nagpadala ako sa lubos na pananabik. Hinagkan ka at dinama ang iyong init. Ang kalooban ko'y nag-alab. Ang mga labi ko'y idinampi sa iyo at ang mga mata ko'y inilibot sa iyong kabuuan, kasabay ng pag-agos ng mga luha.


Paumanhin. Patawarin mo ako.


Ang katawan ko nga ay nag-nais, at ang kaluluwa ko ay mahina. Marupok. Sumabay sa agos ng silakbo ng damdamin. Hinaplos ng aking pandama ang sagrado mong balat. At ang bawat hibla na bumubuo sa akin ay biglang nagliyab. Mainit. Sobrang init. Kaya't ang konsensiya ay tumutol. Alam kong kasabay ng init na nadarama ko'y ang init din na nadarama ng kaluluwa kong ngayon pa lang ay sinusunog na sa apoy ng impyerno.


Mahal kita. Patawarin mo ako. Mahal kita.


Sa iyong harapa'y isang mabangis at mapanilang hayop; matatalas ang mga pangil, mababagsik ang tingin ng mga mata, mahahaba ang mga kuko sa kamay at paa, nababalot ng makakapal at maiitim na balahibo ang buong katawan -- isang demonyo. Habang sa aking harapa'y isang maamong tupa; langit sa likod ng mga pikit na mga mata, malamyos na tinig na maaaring marinig mula sa malalambot na mga labi, inosente at walang kamuwang-muwang na kabuuan ng katawn na hinubog ng panahon, busilak na puso na pinangarap ko na maging akin -- isang anghel.


Patawarin mo ako. Mahal kita. Paumanhin.


Walang patid ang pag-bulong ng paulit-ulit sa iyo. Paumanhin. Mahal kita. Patawarin mo ako. Ngunit mapapatawad mo ba ako? Maililigtas ba ako mula sa walang hanggang pagdurusa? Ako'y makasalanan. Nararapat ko ngang tanggapin at yakapin ang magiging kapalaran ko.

May ikukumpisal ako. Tinukso ako at bumigay sa bulong ng makamundong pagnanasa. Ngunit higit at mahalaga sa lahat, nagawa ko lang ito dahil mahal kita.

PAGSISISI:

O Diyos ko, ikinalulungkot ko ng buong puso ang pagkakasala ko sa Iyo. Kinasusuklaman ko ang lahat kong kasalanan dahil sa takot kong mawala sa akin ang kaharian ng langit at dahil sa takot ko sa hirap sa impyerno, ngunit lalo pa't ang kasalanan ay nakasasakit sa kalooban Mo, Diyos na walang hanggan ang kabutihan at nararapat na ibigin ng walang katapusan. Matibay akong nagtitika na ikukumpisal ko ang aking mga kasalanan, tutuparin ang parusang hatol at sa tulong ng Iyong biyaya ay magbabagong buhay.

Panginoon kong Hesukristo, diyos na totoo at tao namang totoo na gumawa at sumakop sa akin. Pinagsisisihan kong matibay, masakit sa tanang loob ko, ang dilang pagkakasala ko sa Iyo, Ikaw nga po ang Diyos ko, Panginoon ko at Ama ko, na iniibig kong higit na lalo sa lahat. Nagtitika akong matibay na 'di na muling magkakasala sa Iyo, at nagtitika din akong mangungumpisal sa dilang kasalanan ko, at umaasa akong patatawarin mo rin, alang-alang kay Hesukristong aming Panginoon.

Amen.

Jesus answered them, "Most assuredly, I say to you, whoever commits sin is a slave of sin..." (John 8:34)



I am your ever loyal slave. I can't remember when or how or why I let you take over me. And now, whether I like it or not, you have all the power to manipulate me like a marionette. And no matter how hard I try to free my self, I am trapped and imprisoned behind the bars of flames of hell and evil forces. I am helpless.

Imba, that is what you are -- between the two of us, at least. Because my God owns the greatest power, not you. Maybe I need stronger faith, because in a year, you manage to surface and out-power. In a year, the vines of thorns keep crawling all over my body and I can't move. I am trapped and imprisoned. I am still your ever loyal slave.

You are very clever, oh demon of lust. You know me very well. I admire you for that. You can take me into your possession by your most perfect disguise, you really know that liquor is my weakness. One drop and I am not my self any more. A gulp wakes the demon up in me. And a whole night of gulps after gulps makes you the victor -- and I, the sinner!

I can hear you laugh a deafening, evil laughter in my head. Because you made me do it once more. How many times have you lead me to this sin? How many lives you made me destroy? How many friendship have I jeopardized, if not lost? How many respect towards me disintegrated? How many hate I gained? All that and more, you are responsible for.

The last life on earth I wanted to destroy was his. Why do you let it happen? Above anything else, it was love... not lust! But I was under your power and I was weak. My mind tried to fight it but you were running through my veins as the liquor you were disguised. And between the two of us, you are imba. I am just a prisoner. I am just a slave. I was taking your orders. And for that, fuck you!

He's never going to forgive me and I am going to be burned in the second level of hell and it's eternal flame. I hope it's not too late to repent and regain a stronger faith in my God. For he owns the greatest power, not you.

He who covers his sins will not prosper, but whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy. (Proverbs 28:13)

Yesterday, I was talking to some MACCS people through one of the many proposed org-shirt's photo comments and I joked, "Tuesday for president!". That was just a joke, OK. But really, sometimes, jokes are half-meant. I remembered how badly I wanted to run for MACCS presidency, and how badly hurt I felt that I wasn't given a chance to pursue that dream.

I was last term's freshmen representative and I knew I want to serve by heart. By the time the school year came to an end, I made up my mind. I was so equipped with lots of plans and dreams for my dear org. Needless to say, I was a hundred -- if not a thousand -- percent ready to run. And I was having good vibes about it.

And then the new school year started. Man, was I so excited. I started listing in a mental note my prospect party list members and to which position they should fall into. It was quite an easy and exciting task to pick random people within the MACCS community and decide on which's which and who's who. God knows I wasn't being biased and judgmental picking names from the awful lot in my list. And after what felt like milleniums, I managed and came up with the best party list MACCS could've ever known and voted for. But things did not go my way. Matter of fact, i loathed every minute of the elections. From the filing of COC's to the declaration of new officers.

The last thing I ever wanted to talk about was MACCS. I was totally hurt when they did not bother asking me if I wanted to run or whatever. I just suddenly got a message from my classmate, Syran, that she was a candidate for presidency and I was like, "Why in the world wasn't I informed about the elections?". I was totally unaware that the filing of COC's was on that very day.

I was really, totally hurt. There were so many things that I didn't want to think about, yet they managed to squeeze their way into my conciousness. I thought that they never really wanted me to know about the elections because they just don't want me to be leading them, maybe because I can be too dumb sometimes. I was left with no choice and the best I did was cry my self to sleep that night. If you want to know the truth, I still cry whenever the thoughts of the shoulda-woulda-couldas of that doomed presidential dream crosses my tiny mind.

I consoled my self by doing something I always love to do -- dancing. I auditioned for Below Zero and of course I made it through. I don't know if it was just me or it was MACCS people who started giving me cold shoulders since I became an official BZ dancer. I would always tell Ms. Villavicencio how sarcastic those people seem whenever they smile at me or talk to me. She'd tell me I was just being paranoid and I know now I just really was.

When I was told I was to represent MACCS in the extemporaneous speech competition, I did not argued. I thought it could be a way of contributing something good for this org this year. I may not have been the victor, at least I know now that they never really turned their backs at me at all. To be honest with you, I feel really glad now because they started talking to me again. And they actually listen. It's really nice to know that they still consider the things I say about the many proposed org'shirt. It really makes me smile. At least I still have this opportunity to contribute something for good causes. Really, there is no need for me to be their president. I honestly think it's just a label. Because the truth is we all stand in the same ground, regardless of whatever category we happen to fall into. Each one of us has the voice to speak up, and each one of us has ears to lend those who wants to be heard. MACCS is where I really belong after all, I was vindicating them all along. Not because I did not become somebody, it have to mean that I am nobody. Because in MACCS, everybody is somebody. In this family, when you speak, you will be heard. Regardless of whatever your position may be in.

September 2, 2010. 2:15am. It's almost you and I should really be sleeping, but my mind is restless and my fingers are itching to type about nothing in particular and everything in general.

I started out a descriptive letter to you. Simple and succinct.

But you know me... I could never really go for simple and succinct. I like it vague and all over the place. Hence, I deleted five paragraphs of a simple and succinct letter and I'm rewriting this again from scratch.

How've you been? I do hope that all is well. I've been busy like you as usual. The days are passing by ever so swiftly and I can't seem to keep up.

How is it being the Muyleal editor-in-chief? I ask, but I know exactly just what you would say. I'm glad you're doing great. And I really am happy for you. Sure, I wish I was as better off as you, but truly, I'm glad.

What are you doing right now? That's a stupid question. I bet you're in the comfort of your comfortable bed sleeping soundly and getting all the energy that you can get so you can have a super duper awesome day later, because I'm pretty sure that all your days are awesome, because you are awesome. Are you dreaming right now as you sleep? I wonder what your dreams are about. Just so you know, my dreams are of you.

I miss you. I really truly do. We had some pretty fun times, you and I. I wonder if we'll ever get there again in the future... I hope we do.

Why can't we just be in the same place at the same time, like, bump into each other accidentally... Like, everyday or something or other. I say that now, but I know that if that ever did happen, I wouldn't know what to do or say anyway... So I guess this is for the best.

...I guess.

I thought of you the other day when I heard the song "With or Without You" (U2 cover by Keane)... Actually, it's playing again right now and I find my self thinking of you again. I don't know why.Maybe because we're epic. Haha. But really, this song has nothing to do with us... Nor does any other song in the world.

Just a few hours ago, I decided along with the advice of my alter-ego that I should give-up on you. I realized that it's about time and it's what I have to do to finally be able to let you go.

It's been a long time coming, but what's been keeping me from leaving is what it will make me -- weak -- because it will appear as if I can't handle the tiny little emotions that my hyperactive hypothalamus is emitting. Or the pain of having to look at you devote yourself to someone else, while I as it seems am devoted to you. But I realized that it's not about being weak, it's about doing what's right now for tomorrow for me.

I want to talk to you. I really do. I feel like I could possibly make a difference if I did. Possibly, but not definitely. Or maybe this is just a lost cause and I'm just a hopeless loser fighting for something that probably doesn't exist.

But you know what? I've decided to change my mind. What's right for tomorrow will eventually straighten itself out without me having to do except sit right here waiting for you. Fate has a way of doing whatever the heck it wants to when it wants to, so I really don't have to lift a finger. It's done it before... It'll do it again.

I think just how epic it seems that I long for you knowing that what I long for could never be realized and yet, I'm still here equipped with such unwavering love for you, never asking or wanting anything in return, just loving you.

Maybe all the waiting would be for nothing. But at least in the end, if it all goes terribly wrong, I could say that hey at least I tried.

I know I've resolve to just let things go as they come. And I have succeeded I think, for the most part.

And there are many things that I've chosen to just overlook. Things that I've chosen to just let pass. But see there's this one thing I can't seem to get off my mind.

...And it's you!

I'm over-romanticizing this, I know, but at least I know the difference now between making a big deal out of nothing and downplaying a big deal into nothing.

And you Photskie, well, you're my nothing and you can take that in any way you like. But know this, nothing as you may be, I love you. In all your nothingness, I do.


it's me,
Tuesday

(This is a letter written on 29th of August, 2010, 6:27PM)


I apologize for what happened tonight. I didn't mean to be rude and all but, just in case you don't know, I easily get pissed when people has to say something negative about me and I don't even do anything to provoke them to do so. Yeah, maybe you don't know about that. Or do you even know anything about me at all? I think you don't. well, I guess I need to tell you some things about me.

I am one of your children, the one with a twin, and you call me Jeng. But people call me Tuesday, do you know? I turned 24 last June and I was kind of expecting you'd greet me but you didn't but that's okay. I am now in college, imagine that. You never asked what course I am taking, maybe you always want to but due to some circumstances, you always forget to. So if you are interested to know, I'm a second year, B. S. in Business Administration major in Management student and I go to a college in Malolos. Yes, that is the reason why I always leave the house in the morning and get back home at night. School is really exhausting for me, especially that I always participate in as much extra-curricular activities as possible. Do you know that I dance? It's my first love! And as a matter of fact, I made it to the official dance group of my college.I guess maybe you'd be glad to know that. And Keng, my twin, brought home his third medal for essay writing Friday night. Champion this time! I am really prod of my twin. I'm sure you are too.

Tonight, before you throw harsh and hurting words to me, we were watching tv and I thought it was nostalgic. I remember those times when we watched primetime practical jokes shows and we laughed together for they were pretty hilarious. I always tell that to Ralph Jhonel and he would always tell me how lucky I am to have my dad with me. Ralph Jhonel is the love of my life by the way. You already met him didn't you? He was the one who always asked you for permission to use our house for the movie we were filming, remember? Apparently, his dad had to go abroad when he was just a little boy and they never get reunited again.

Anyway, he felt somewhat jealous of us. I really think he did. And it made me realize how fortunate I really am that when you left to go abroad, you came back home to us.

Do you know I always tell my professors and classmates about you? That the best advice I have ever received was from you. And that up to this moment, I still live by those words you said that seem to stick in my mind and it would play over and over whenever I am in a deep thinking. You may not be powerful but you've become a hero to me without even intending to be. I know I'll bring that advice to the grave. And if ever I'm going to reincarnate my self, I hope to remember it still. And I promise, I will live by those word again.

Don't you think it's funny that I write all these to you and I'm not even sure if you're ever going to read what I am writing in here? If you're going to ask me, I think it's too ironic. I write all these stuff like we've never seen each other for ages when in fact, you're just in the next room sleeping soundly where I can go and tell you how much I miss you and that I'll keep on trying to make you proud of me. I love you. You'll see, someday you're going to be proud of me. Or at least change the way you see me. But I guess I have to leave it like this for now. Because maybe -- just maybe -- I will just start another fight. Just like what happened tonight which I am sorry about and made me write you this letter.

it's me,
Jeng

Look at me, writing to you when I don't even plan on letting you lay eyes on this. You might find it funny -- and yeah, weird -- that I am writing to you when we don't even talk, let alone look at each other in school. Except that time after midterm exams when I asked you a favor and you did the favor without ever complaining.

I guess that's why I wrote to you. Honestly, I don't know exactly the reason why I write this. I was just thinking of you and the next thing I knew, I started typing these words addressed to you and my hands seem to work faster than my brain. So I just let my fingers do it's thing and I smile to the words appearing in the screen.

Thank you. I try my best to squeeze my mind harder that maybe I can juice out a better thing to say than just a plain and not-so-inspiring "thank you". I have other things in mind that I can't bring my self to write, knowing that we barely even kneow each other. So let me just leave it at that. "Thank you" are the safest words for now.

I don't plan on commenting on every single facebook wall posts you, well, post. Not anymore, at least. It must be getting on your nerves that I do so I'll quit it. But it doesn't mean I don't want us to be friends. It's just me, you know. After the cultural week, you felt so intimidating for me and I couldn't bring my self to look your way. I don't know. Maybe I was subconciously underestimating you and now that you proved something, my ego hurts. That's just a theory though, but it's more likely to be it.

Anyway, I suppose I have to end this nonsense right now. Because I know that if I keep going, you'd have to spend a whole day reading when the only thing I'm supposed to tell you is "thank you".

I guess I'll just see you around!

it's me,

Tuesday

I was really hesitant the time they asked me to compete for the extemporaneous speech as a part of my college's cultural week event. I am not really keen at speaking in front of a crowd but I agreed anyway. Of course I'm not turning MACCS down, not after I refused to dance for them for the competition of the year during our acquaintance party last month. So I ended up consulting Google and Wikipedia the next few days for some tips on how to deliver a speech properly and some current events for ideas to rehearse with. But I guess life always have it's own middle finger aimed on me; some other distracting things occurred beyond my control and I lost track reviewing. It was really difficult to do this and do that and do something else all at the same time. Days passed by and before I knew it, the competition was just a few days ahead. With an utter dismay, I panicked. I went through the internet and newspapers trying to gather and store as much informations as my cognitive functions can possibly acquire. It was impossible! I tried the television too, but it failed me. It gave me the "major major" problem instead. 24 Oras was showing some news on -- to my horror -- politics. POLITICS! God knows how freaked out I was. What do I know about politics? I mean, what's interesting about it in the first place?

"I was rehearsing for the extemporaneous speech and I suddenly realized, if the question is going to be about politics then I am going to be so dead!" I told Ms. Alejandro and Ms. Villavicencio through SMS. I was not expecting them to help me anyway because that's not fair. What I did was I added politics in my review. Man, I was hardly interested so I gave up getting informations about politics and focused on current events and economy and tourism as I thought these things matter the most nowadays. And everything went on smoothly.

The night before the big day, I barely slept. I was thinking about the next day -- the day I am least excited about. It was the day of the infamous extemporaneous speech competetion. I checked the internet first thing in the morning, I was hoping to find fresh news because maybe it's going to be helpful. I found nothing but news about the Manila hostage drama and the Miss Universe pageant. I did not bother turning the tv on. I was having the feeling that I'm only going to see the same things.

On the way to my college, my heart was thumping real hard like rabbit in my chest. The closer I get, the more I get nervous. I entered in the campus and tried my best to look calm and confident with the best that I can. A student-committee handed me a piece of a round card bearing number 7. I thought it's a lucky number and I was feeling lucky being the 7th contestant to perform. Few moments later, the student-committee said I was next and handed me the small piece of paper and I instantly knew that the question was in it. With trembling hands, I slowly unfolded the paper and read.

"How can you attain unity knowing that there is diversity in culture?"

I froze. I read it twice more before the words registered in my over-used mind. I smiled, thinking it was just a piece of cake. Ideas started to go in my conciousness from all directions. I did a mental rehearsal of what I was about to say. Everything was alright. We were given only 3 minutes to prepare yet I managed to think of lots to say. And then it was my turn.

I suddenly felt extremely nervous as I stood in front of the judges and the audience. After I took a huge, deep breath I started to speak. My perfomance was unswerving but somewhere in the 2nd minute, I found my self lost for words.

"Shit!", I was cursing under my breath for God knows how many times as panic started to set in. I went blah-blah-blah one moment and then my lips will be sealed tighter than a clam's shell the next, and that went on repeatedly in the next two minutes. The judges were all staring at me and I was thinking they were the most hostile of people. They must be thinking that I was not at all prepared and that I am dumb. They might be thinking I was an ambitious creature, joining in a brain versus brain battle and I can't even juice out a good thought from my brain. If they only knew that ideas were overflowing in my head minutes ago and that I just suddenly can't put them to words.

My heart leaps when the time keeper raised the "4 mins" sign, it was such a relief because the minimum speech delivery time is 4 minutes. I spent a good 5 seconds more before finally giving up.

"I'm sorry!" I mouthed to Ms. Villavicencio as she was eyeing me to my exit. She smiled. I felt bad I failed the people who always believe in what I can possibly do. My org-mates asked if I did well as soon as I stepped out and I told them the truth and felt worse. I was supposed to be their extemp hero but apparently when the going got too tough, the tough did not get going -- or was I even tough like what I always thought I am?

My self-esteem started to deflate a little since, but I'm not the kind who quits and ends just there. I know I can be good with other things, like writing nonsensical blog entries like this maybe. I guess, for now, I have to try to excel in a lot of other things just to save my ass from that self-inflicted shame. Not to mention, regain that little piece of confidence I lose.

I was browsing through my facebook photos last night and I saw this
comment-conversation in one of my wall photos uploaded on November 12, 2009. I suddenly wanted to blog it, I am not certain about the reason though. Maybe I just miss the people I once been good friends with and vice-versa. And maybe, what I miss the most are the conversations we had.

So here's the photo and the conversation:




Tuesday Sucgang: life's getting boring, don't you think?

Mhart Jefferson Peñaflor: sure is ... whew ...

Tuesday Sucgang: blogging is a way of expressing your self.. especially if you find it hard to find someone to talk to...

Mhart Jefferson Peñaflor: and that will be a good one if you based it on,
What your heart asks (to burst out your feelings), what your mind tells (words you can put up to explain the feeling),
and where your will take you (to where you should belong, and that is to yourself, to know yourself better than others)

Tuesday Sucgang: but sometimes, what my heart asks, what my mind tells and where my will can take me are the same things that let me down.. i'm my own worst enemy..

Ela Enriquez: so sad!c .......

Mhart Jefferson Peñaflor: remember the story ??? Mhart is the one suffered in deep pain, but a bit of sacrifice is a bunch of gratitude to those who have been saved by this small sacrifice

Mhart Jefferson Peñaflor: oh bkt ella???

Ela Enriquez: bitch bitch!!!drs a guy who cheat on me .....grrrrr

Tuesday Sucgang: ‎'coz u love it being the hero.. i was a hero, but i got tired of saving the world instead of saving my own self.. that's why i came to my downfall..

Tuesday Sucgang: marami pang iba jan ella..

Ela Enriquez: yea !i knw..
//**
pro ang sket sobra!!!!!

Mhart Jefferson Peñaflor: @tues: Mhart fell, but he was still alive and though in pain, before the end of the story, he closed his eyes smiling. db?

@ela: hmmm ... bkt?

kaung 2, my sasabihin sna ko eh, but its in the Part 2 of the Story. hehe ... wait for it ... ill ...be finishing it in an hour ...

Mhart Jefferson Peñaflor: Pain is the Most Inevitable Lesson we can learn. ...

Tuesday Sucgang: @jeff: it's easy for you to say.. maybe because you don't know how it feels like for me..

@ella: boys yan eh.. what do you expect?

Mhart Jefferson Peñaflor: hmmm ... i disagree tues ... cguro you can think that I wont be able to write that story without me knowing the term "Sacrifice" ???

Tuesday Sucgang: u mean you know exactly how i feel? i don't think so..

Mhart Jefferson Peñaflor: Kw n rin may sabi, I can Adjust .. ^^

Tuesday Sucgang: haha.. kaw may sabi nun kagabi.. hindi ako..

Mhart Jefferson Peñaflor: ako ba? hehe .. ^^

Tuesday Sucgang: yep.. jeff, i'm sorry for what i've done.. i mean, i shouldn't have posted that on my blogs.. i can really be so thoughtless sometimes.. i apologize..

Mhart Jefferson Peñaflor: NO! its fine ... its what your heart and mind says .. and there's no problem about that ...

Ela Enriquez: haiiii ..lungkot tlg ...whew!

Tuesday Sucgang: i thought you're bothered.. i saw your comment for Daryl..

Mhart Jefferson Peñaflor: @ela : mgbasa k nlng ng blogs ela ... mkk2long un mklimot ..

@tues: no im not

Tuesday Sucgang: ‎@jeff: if you say so..

@ella: tama yun.. e2 basahin mo.. http://jheff4413.blogspot.com/

Mhart Jefferson Peñaflor: bkt akin lng ...??? endorse m dn sau tues ...

kw endorse ko ... ^^ hehe ...

Tuesday Sucgang: hehe.. wag na.. marami m'kakabasa..

Mhart Jefferson Peñaflor: ok fine ...

Tuesday Sucgang: ‎next time nlng pag mei iba nang post..

Ela Enriquez: i hate my fucking lfe tsk.tsk...ge mkpgbsa nlng ...

Mhart Jefferson Peñaflor: ok ... ako kc, i set my blog into 1 post per page lng eh ...

Tuesday Sucgang: ‎post nlng ako tommorrow.. iisip ako ng sasabihin.. tas ganun nlng din gagawin ko, 1 post per page..

Mhart Jefferson Peñaflor: ela, notify m q if nabasa m n ah .. kht d2 m nlng sabihin pra mkita dn ni tues

In my hand rests this black pen

As these silly lines comes out written
Words run back and forth my conciousness
Giving me nausea, I, a Goddess in distress

On the other, a syringe is caged by my grip
I smile at the sight of the shining needle's tip
Giant feet come stomping in my chest
It is Angels versus Demons; the battle of the mightiest

Darkness arises, the victor of the fight
It's burning flames embrace me through the night
"Do it!", someone whisper in my ear
Then I close my eyes, now are rivers of tears

I clenched my teeth for the unbearable pain
The needle passes through my flesh and I go insane
A scream wakes up the shallow soul in my system
Deafening but melodic, it's my funeral's anthem

Immidiately, the poison fluid escapes
It stings in my veins like it's leaving scrapes
My body becomes numb; I can't open my mouth
To cry for help as my life runs out

Suddenly I start to hear your voice
I want to lift up my head but I'm left with no choice
"Welcome to the jungle!" are the words that you say
Then as if in a time machine, I got back to the first day

I see all of the things the two of us went through
We talked about all the things, did not mattered if untrue
I remember how we made a million idioms about the tree
Unaware of the fact that you're going to hurt me

I confessed about my feelings after a very short while
You dumped me like a trash yet I forced to fake a smile
And now I am dying, do you know that you're the reason?
Because there is no other way that from this heartache I can move on

Back here at the present I lie here on the cold floor
I see you move away just to close and lock the door
"Welcome to the jungle!", you say again and you laugh hard
I recognize you're the one who said "Do it!" in the start

So all along you're the one; the reason why I'm dying
How did you know that this existence, to give up I am willing?
Do you remember I asked you this question earlier:
"How is it now that I still love you?", but you didn't give an answer