My Real Life Movie (Behind the Scenes)

I thought Ralph Jhonel and I won't get any closer since November 29th of 2008. I can still remember how it felt like being dumped by someone you can't do without. We gained distance for quite a while, and man, it was terrible. I'd find myself crying at night over the song "Right Here Waiting" with the company of Marlboro and cups of coffee. The nights felt like forever, and I was totally lethargic. I even thought of cutting my wrist to spell out "PHOTSKIE", and thought it can be a perfect way of getting his attention. But even before handing that razor blade, I felt pathetic as hell. So I decided to just go on with my life and let whatever happens happen.

Christmas break was a blast. I finally got the chance to talk to Ralph Jhonel via my brand new Motorola (courtesy of my Ate Shishi). Ralph Jhonel told me he's spending his Christmas break doing a school project. He needs to make a movie of any story and I can tell he's having a hard time. So I offered help. But he didn't seek that help at first. I thought maybe he just don't want to get me involved with anything he do as he don't want to do anything with me. But I was wrong, he asked if I can help him the next day. And I didn't hesitate.

I suggested my own storyline and thank God he loves it. We planned right away. I spent hours and sleepless nights writing the script. We planned on the castings and locations and everything that's needed. So everything's set. We're ready to shoot.

Lights... Camera... Action!

It's a dream-come-true for me to work behind the cameras. It is a dream-come-true for me to spend more time with Ralph Jhonel as well. This could be a perfect chance for me to make the most out of the remaining times with him. I only have a little time to be with him as the summer fast approaches. It feels like i must hurry things up in making as much memorable moments as I can, so he won't forget about me when he go to college. But the more I try, the more I get sad. Because no matter how many memories I make, he will still be away in the end.

But don't get me wrong, I am happy for him. Not happy that he's going away, happy that he's going to pursue his dreams. I always try to be supportive to him, especially if it concerns his studies. Though sometimes I feel like I'm getting my self too much involved. I just want to be with him. I know he understands.

The story where Ralph Jhonel and I are the lead characters is not as wonderful as the stories in some movies. What matters is that we somehow made our real-life love story. There's no need for a happy ending at all. Because for me, I don't want this story to end.

Life is like a movie. Only, there are no cameras involved. You are the director of your own movie, it's all up to you how you like the story to flow. The script is your own words. You must be careful for there are no retakes when you mess up with things. And above all, not all love stories end up with "happily ever after".

Cut!